Why don’t you sleep through the night, darling?

I did mention before that JJ is still having issues sleeping through the night and will constantly wake up (or fuss for milk) at around 3 to 4 am almost every night. So last night it happened again but this time at 4 to 5 am. JJ was awake, eyes wide opened but he did not ask for milk. I tried to pat him back to sleep but he refuse and will flip in all sorts directions as if trying to find the right position to go back to sleep again. He tried sleeping on my pillow, the opposite direction, crouching up with his butt in the air, flat-out on the bed with face buried in his pillow and even tried lying on an elongated pillow with lower half of his body on the bed the upper half on me, and all these did not work.

It seems as though he had too much caffeine, resulting in constantly flipping and fussing nights. So last night I picked JJ up and cuddled him to sleep. We cuddled for a good 30 minutes before he start to feel drowsy and sleepy. So what did we do for that 30 minutes besides cuddling? We looked at each other eye to eye and had a good mummy-JJ time. Maybe because he knows we are not going to have any more of these cuddle moments soon, or maybe he just wants a cuddle to help him feel better.

Certainly I do enjoy all these mummy-JJ moments and love to watch JJ sleep (because to me that’s the most peaceful, calm and beautiful moments in life) but definately not at 4am in the morning. We can do better than this JJ, there is definately ways to make you sleep through the night without asking for milk, fussing or waking up at 3 or 4 am. If mummies out there you have any methods to sleep train your little ones do share with me.

Blurry pic of JJ playing before bed time

JJ pretending to be sleeping

The morning after, getting dress to go Gong Gong’s place

Do it or not do it?

Over the weekend we brought JJ to visit a pediatric surgeon to seek an opinion if JJ needs circumcision. Since his first Urinary Tact Infection (UTI) attack when he was 5 months old, I have been in constant worry when he will have the next attack again and I am so afraid that he will fall real sick as this will lower his immune system which allows bacteria to attack him again.

We went to see an urology pediatric specialist on this before and ran an MCU test on him to ensure that JJ did not have any reflux issue. Hence after 2 specialist visits and numerous scans, it has been concluded that he has a foreskin contamination issue which led to his UTI attack. Now 8 months after his first attack, comes the time where I have to make the decision for him to remove the foreskin so that we can reduce the risks of having UTI related to foreskin contamination.

Pros of removing the foreskin

1. Reduce the risks of having UTI

2. It will be easier to bathe and keep him clean especially going to preschool or child care in 1.5 years time

3. At this young age, he is the most adaptable to changes and healing process is fastest for him

Cons of removing the foreskin

1. Losing a skin

2. Mummy will be the one crying and worrying heaps and spending time with a very cranky toddler ( the pediatric surgeon showed me photos of how things will be like after the surgery and the recovery process. There will be scabbing and redness at the “humming bird’ area for toddler of JJ’s age)

3. Same as number 2 but more worries on whether JJ will be able to adapt without the foreskin and if infections will set in due to the surgery.

4. May not 100% remove the possibility of having another UTI attack, well maybe in JJ’s case remove 80% of that chance happeninga again.

So do we do it or not do it? Maybe he won’t get any more UTI and what happened 8 months ago was an one off incident. But the possiblities of future infections are there and also seeing him shiver and rolling back his eyes when the UTI hits him plus the cranky 3 day stay in the hospital (not to mention the 2 months recovery process) was really tough on that little guy. Maybe we should circumsize him after all to prevent future attacks.

Ok JJ is having high fever as I’m writing this. Hope the fever won’t turn out to be UTI.

Definition of a toddler

What is a toddler? From Wikipedia a toddler is a child between the ages of one and three and the toddler years are a time of great cognitive, emotional and social development. Well that is very true, toddler years are the most amazing and life changing period of a child’s and parent’s life. So what is my definition of a toddler? Here’s my top 10 definition!

10. A compact sized little being, aged one to three.

9. Able to make sounds reaching almost 3,000 decibels without even twitching an eyebrow.

8. Has the ability to ensure that at all meal times food will always land on the floor and none in the stomach or any where close to the mouth area

7. Has an energy level equivalent to 3,000 energizer batteries and able sing, dance, jump, hop, clap and eat all at the same time and all day long even minutes before going to bed. (see who is the real master at multi-tasking)

6. Wakes up at 4am in the morning to play or demand breakfast (usually milk) and repeats this routine at least 67973057 times before calling it quits (yes I am still battling with the 4 am night feed and I am going to win this battle, we have 58493878 times to go. Boy JJ you are real stubborn on this.)

5. Has the ability and the urge to pee and defecate on any possible surface and under any situations. (JJ defecated on a 1 day old car seat and the contents leaked out of his diapers and all over the new car seat. We had to make an emergency stop at a nearby mall to clean him and the car seat . Back home, while he was taking his nap, I had to dismantle the car seat and thoroughly clean the contents stuck inside.)

4. Giggles at the simplest things in life (when I say STARS with a smile and emphasis, JJ finds it amusing and gives us heaps of giggles)

3. Able to entice people (and of course pretty ladies in the case of JJ) to give hugs, kisses, winks and love freely to him

2. Plays pee-ka-poo with mummy before bed time. And will cuddle up to mummy and wink or smile at mummy moments before falling asleep. (cuddling is also common at 4am in the morning, not really the best time for cuddles, but I still love the warmth and love from JJ)

1. Able to do all of the above mentioned and repeating it 365 (or maybe more) times a year for the next 2 years.

I love number 2, 3 and 4 in particular about my toddler but it is the rest of the less glamorous, frustrating and angry moments that makes my toddler so special. Sometimes when I look back at the things that JJ had done, it is really funny and amazing in some ways (like point number 5) and it’s moments like these that I will miss most. Let’s see what the next 2 years has installed for both of us and probably this top 10 definitions will change by then.

My toddler JJ

What is wrong darling? Is it because of the bad hair day?

I noticed something changed in JJ during the weekend that past. He would throw tantrums during breakfast on mornings where he had to go for classes at Julia Gabriel’s. It is not because he does not like the classes, in fact he adores the singing and playing in classes and would always smile and giggle during classes.

The thing is the classes are at 9 am hence I have to get him up at 745am, then wash up, change and have breakfast. Usually JJ takes 10 minutes to finish his breakfast but on Sunday morning he simply refused to eat anything, threw every single toy I gave him on the floor and even puked out all his cereal after the final spoon of cereal went into his mouth. ( so imagine the clean up and the rush to Julia Gabriel’s as we left the house at close to 9 am). And Monday morning, same thing happens. JJ refused breakfast again but this time no puking. Just tantrums, throwing toys and a really bad hair day.

Then come this morning, no classes in the morning, JJ woke up naturally at 730 am and happily finished all his cereal with giggles before sending him for his scheduled vaccination.

Maybe JJ really dislike being waken from his deep slumber sleep to go classes ( or because we caused him to have a bad hair day but that does not seem like the case since he is smiling in classes.) Or maybe he is approaching his terrible twos year hence these are developmental phases. Hopefully, in the coming weeks JJ will be better or else I must think of ways to deal with this better.

Smiling despite having a bad hair day at JG’s Monday class

Letter to Jayson

Yes that’s right my very first blog post is a letter to my son.

Dearest JJ, you turned one on 26 June and this is for you, hope that some day when you are old enough to read this you will be able to share some of the memories I have of you.

I prayed for you and you came. 10 months later and a good 23 hours of labour pains you came to this world to meet us. It took me awhile to get used to holding and nursing you but you never once rejected me. The confinement nanny came and left when you were 6 weeks old, and I had to take care of you without much clue of how to bathe, change and feed you. The first night taking care of you alone was a lesson learnt for both of us, you cried hard for a good 30 minutes before going to bed because mummy has no idea of what to do. (PS: recently you cried hard before going to bed too because, now being older you just want to play and simply refuse to go to bed!) But hey JJ we survived that and we got a hang of each other’s temperament. We bonded for the next 3 months before I had to return to work and you are left to Gong Gong’s care. I resented that terribly because I always wanted to spend time with you and watch you grow. Also, leaving you at Gong Gong’s place meant that I would see less of you since Mummy and Daddy stays at Grandpa’s place.

JJ at 2 weeks old

Hence I tried to make best of the little time I have with you by making sure that when I am with you I am the only one feeding, changing, bathing and playing with you so that we get maximum mummy and JJ time. But still to me that’s not enough.

Then came when you were 5 months old. You had UTI and that scared the wits out of a new mummy. I cried hard when sending you to the hospital as you could not even open your eyes. I cried hard when I saw the nurses bandaged your hands and placed a drip on you. Those 3 nights in the hospital were tough for you and me, but you were a brave and smiley baby and hardly fussed over the medications, the-every-two-hourly temperature checks and the constant diarrhoea due to the antibiotics. Boy am I so glad that you are well and laughing again.

JJ waiting for doctor at Thomson Medical Center

You quickly put that ordeal behind you and went on to learn new things. You started to roll, flip, flip very quickly, sit up wobbly, sit up well, get up on all fours, crawl, stand up on your feet and finally now crawling at really fast pace that we had to run after you. You learned to giggle and wink at me. And doing those when I am trying to put you to bed after a long day of work. You will be in my arms smiling, giggling and enjoying every mummy moment before going to bed. I too glad that you gave me a chance to do that and I savour every minute of it.

JJ at 8 months old

We brought you to Europe at 11 months old, and to everyone’s surprise you adapted really well during the 2 weeks. You hardly cry on the airplane rides and allowed most people to carry (maybe because those who carried you were pretty air stewardesses). You loved the snow and cold winds in Switzerland and did not mind sleeping in the pram for 2 hours while being pushed on cobbled walkways in Italy. In many ways you amazed me and you are a lot more than I thought at 11 months.

JJ on train to Top of Europe

And you turned one last week. I think you had a blast like I did as you simply refused to take any naps throughout the day and wanted to play. This is something out of ordinary for you. To mummy it had been a wonderful one year with you watching you grow from a newborn to a toddler. I do miss some of your baby moments (when you were 6 to 10 months) and sometimes I secretly hope that you wont grow out of it so that I can enjoy more of your babyness. I never thought that I am able to raise, give unconditional love, be patient, cry so much, get frustrated and worry/fuss so much (especially when you are having fever or teething) over someone until you came along.

Collage of JJ since birth till 12 months old

Though the time we spent may not be long, but mummy will make the best out of each minute with you as you approach your terrible twos year. May you grow up healthy and happy JJ.

Love, Mummy.